So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize