and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
