I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
