guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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