Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
