She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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