i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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