And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize