new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
