how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
