i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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