I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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