Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
