: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize