You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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