remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can Purell be used as lube?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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