he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
