u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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