My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm too high and old for this...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
