He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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