All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
