Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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