pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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