wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
