Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
