I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
