I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
