i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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