I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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