i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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