I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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