Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.