my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.