i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
