im drinking this country out of the recession.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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