Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize