She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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