You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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