I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
