I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize