Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
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Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
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