I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
