We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
