i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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