I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
