a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
