Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Its about making memories worth repressing
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
