Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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