Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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