i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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