So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
