It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
