??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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