can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
