the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
