The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize