In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
