look no pants
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
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All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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