Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
