Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
